Often, we teach our children to be wary. There are people in the world who are primarily self-serving and all too willing to betray an associate or even a friend. Maybe we do need to give a message about the importance of being skeptical and self-protective. However, most of us would also agree that the message of "trust no one" can build barriers to intimacy, harmony, cooperation, and a sense of safety in relationships. Most of us do not want that for ourselves or our children.

Trust is one of the greatest advantages that family businesses have in the marketplace. In the 18th century, the five sons of Mayer Amschel Rothschild fanned out to five European financial capitals and built a banking empire that survives to this day. They were able to do this, because it was efficient to work collaboratively, trusting one another without the necessity of second-guessing or worries about dishonesty or fraud.

In countless family businesses today, success is a consequence of trust between parents and children and between siblings. Equally true, the absence of trust is a strong factor in turmoil in family businesses.

What does it do t a family and a business when a father invites his offspring to join the firm with the promise that he will do succession - but delays succession for decades in spite of repeated requests of his frustrated children? Imagine the negative culture that develops if there is not gradual transfer of power or autonomy or authority or ownership from parents to adult children. Imagine the quality of life for the children who are on trial for 10 or even 20 years, unable to speak about a succession plan.

And what does it do to the level of trust if children join a family business with the intent of taking their parents' place, but do not work hard or do not do all they can to learn the business? Or, suppose the children take advantage of working for their parents and take great liberties of time-off or excessive vacation?

Imagine, on the other hand, the success of a family business when parents are scrupulous about keeping their word, thereby establishing trust. The children feel empowered and able to grow, and to grow up. Likewise, if the children work hard, learn carefully, and eagerly take over responsibility, imagine the potential strength of the business and the satisfaction in the family. After all, it is the job of parents to become unneeded and the job of children to grow up and take their place - in the venue of a family business and in life in general.

Healthy skepticism is useful in business, but trust earned and given is invaluable.